Successful christian marriage

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Until I arrived on campus in the fall ofshe was the only African American attending the college. She told me that she was excited to have someone of color there to talk to … to understand some of the challenges she was going through. And I was sure happy to see her! She had a certain glow about her—a sense of warmth and joy that made me want to know her. We were both from moderate-income families and our parents had never been divorced.

And we were both followers of Jesus Christ. Neither Cynthia nor I began college with any intentions of marriage. We both went there for an education. But we enjoyed being together and had a lot in common.

Before we graduated, I asked Cynthia to be my wife. Looking back, it was easy for us to fall in love.

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But staying in love, well … that takes hard work. Here are eight of them, in no particular order:. Every marriage struggles with shortcomings. In the early years of our marriage, I thought that we were supposed to be an almost perfect model for others.

But God is the God of the supernatural, and He gives us the wisdom and strength to make a relationship work. They need to see us dealing with our imperfections so they will know how to deal with their own imperfections.

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Consider the consequences of your words and actions. Ask yourself how you would want to be spoken to, or treated, or cared for. And then do those things. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity. Every night they ate together around the table. In my home it was every person for himself.

So instead of dwelling on how different you are from your spouse, think about the things you have in common. And be willing to give up your preferences for one another. But sex is not the key to an enduring bond between a husband and wife. You have to become friends first. And what do friends do? They spend time together doing things they both enjoy.

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When you see Cynthia or me, you usually see the other. And at the end of the day, we try to look at each other and remember, You are my friend. The only way that you can unreservedly love your spouse is by putting Jesus Christ at the center of your relationship. He can help you care for your spouse without expecting anything in return 1 Corinthians What happens if the plane loses power? The natural law of gravity will take over and the plane will begin to fall. Likewise, in marriage, the moment you stop relying on God to help your marriage is the moment the natural law of selfishness takes over.

The result? Division … and too often, divorce.

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You are a sinner, just like every human being. But be encouraged. Jesus was tempted just like you and me. He wants to help us escape temptation 1 Corinthians Cynthia and I have faced challenges—we are selfish like anyone else. We often have to humble ourselves and ask each other for forgiveness. Howard Hendricks, who was a beloved professor at Dallas Theological Seminary, said the more intimate the relationship, the fewer the rules that are necessary to regulate the relationship.

True love is not demanding. It does not keep score or consider who does more work. In the Gant household, when either of us sees something that needs to be done, we Successful christian marriage it. I fill the dishwasher; Cynthia fills the dishwasher. We cook meals together. Cynthia does sewing and makes our window treatments, and I hang them.

We do yardwork together Cynthia likes to mow and I like to trimand we shop together. We have an unusual commonality. Cynthia and I have chosen to have a simple lifestyle, and that philosophy has transferred to our children.

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Part of our commitment has been to live without debt. We have no credit card debt. No car debt. One car is 16 years old, another is 10 years old, and they get us where we need to go. After almost four decades of marriage, I can say from experience that Jesus Christ can bring true unity into any relationship. Cynthia and I attribute the success of our marriage to that.

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Practical help for your family just got easier to find. God's Plan for Marriage Vernard Gant. Related Content. God's Plan for Marriage min read.

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Could I ask you a question? What do you want your last words to be? Grow with your family. Help other families grow. What if means your family gets stronger? This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Successful christian marriage

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