Lying husband how to deal

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A re you married to a liar? If you are, chances are good that your relationship will be tried by the mistrust, bitterness and anger that lying causes. Read on to find out how to deal with a lying spouse. It can be very hard to understand why your partner would lie to you. So how do you deal with a partner who doesn't tell the truth? Knowing his motive is crucial to how you respond — and whether and how you forgive.

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Why People Lie We appear to be hard-wired to lie — and it begins early in life; children as young as age 2 may lie when they discover that words can do amazing things. Some people lie as a form of self-protection. Others do so to save themselves from punishment or conflict, or to gain acceptance from a group or get something else they want.

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Lying comes naturally to most of us. We say that our friend's favorite shirt looks great, knowing how much she loves the ugly thing. We lie to our children, promising ice cream later if they eat their meal first — and then we try to get them to forget our promise.

Maybe lying was a matter of survival and self-preservation when you were. Only you can decide if any amount of lying is acceptable or not, especially when it comes to your spouse. The first is a lie; the latter may be more an oversight or simply an inability to his manage time well. Drawing the Line Your tolerance of certain lies may mean less conflict and more harmony at home.

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But what happens if a lying spouse is trying to cover up an affair? Will you finally decide to challenge the lies — possibly ending your marriage?

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In this case, it may be time to reach out for guidance from a mental health professional. Seeking counseling to deal with a husband or wife who lies is helpful if the pain and upset have become too much. Therapy will help you work through the emotions and move forward, either on your own or as a couple.

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You may well hear something you really don't want to hear. But you also need to be prepared for his continuing to lie and cover up his behavior. You may need to be ready to make some difficult decisions, but you first need to hear what you he has to say. He may also surprise you. Allow room for second chances, but not third or fourth. Change Your Behavior Have you also considered whether your reactions to his words or actions have encouraged him to lie to you? Besides, if I'm going to be in trouble anyway, at least now there will be a reason.

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Changing your behavior may even solve the problem. On the other hand, if a spouse always does as he pleases, he may act in ways that are inappropriate and hurtful, including lying. In that case, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. As a spouse begins to trust again that she won't be lied to, her behavior will likely soften toward her spouse, though if an affair is the cause it may take a long time for this healing to happen.

Changing any kind of behavior — including feeling suspicious of a spouse — takes time. And his changes in behavior will also take time. So give each other some room, talk about things more often and more honestly. In most cases, a relationship will begin to improve over time, though in some cases one or both partners may also conclude that the damage done by lying cannot be repaired. Health Topics. Health Tools. Emotional Health. By Erin Raymond. Last Updated: November 15, Read on to find out how to deal with a lying spouse It can be very hard to understand why your partner would lie to you.

Lying husband how to deal

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How To Deal With A Lying Spouse