Added: Marybel Latimore - Date: 06.11.2021 13:56 - Views: 48654 - Clicks: 6111
When Jane married Tony, a nonmember, she was sure that he would not long resist the beauty and grace of the church that contained the full gospel of Jesus Christ. She loved the gospel, she loved him—surely the two would naturally come together. But, as the years tumbled forward, and even after six children, Tony was no closer to becoming a member of the Church.
All this time, Jane suffered the dilemma that many active LDS members married to less-active or nonmember spouses share.
The gospel grew to be more precious as Jane became a wife and then a mother. She wanted fervently to share the gospel message with her husband.
At times, she wanted to shake the earth with her testimony so that he, her best friend and confidant, would leap suddenly into comprehension. Although she wanted Tony to understand her regard for the Church, she recognized that using the Church as a wedge would split, rather than solidify, her marriage. She had seen it happen before when husbands and wives tried to force the Church into their relationships, only to have anger and rebellion result.
If anything, the gospel was an ally, teaching her how to love, and understand, and forgive. She decided that converting Tony to the Church ought not be her primary goal, nor should the marriage be sacrificed to that end. Before we were married, my parents were upset about our engagement. They tried hard to discourage us, but, from the moment we married, they ceased their opposition and gave us percent of their love and support.
I should have followed their good example years earlier. I decided to stop complaining and start being grateful. The Church is a guide, not a guarantee. Church leaders have consistently counseled young people to marry within the Church. As President Spencer W. Church loyalties and family loyalties clash. For these and similar reasons, marriage within the Church should be a goal for every single member. But sometimes, for one reason or another, members find themselves united with a nonmember or a less-active member.
In such circumstances, the choices a person can make where the Church is concerned are more limited, but there are still some decisions one can make. Among those choices is the decision to be patient, loving, and devoted. Each spouse takes the partner with the understanding that he or she gives totally to the spouse all the heart, strength, loyalty, honor, and Lds dating a non member, with all dignity.
Hilaria, a young Church member in Denver, married a man that everyone thought was unworthy of her. He was a hard drinker and reckless with money. Almost immediately, the marriage ran into difficulties. But Hilaria possessed the magic of being happy. As the years progressed, instead of becoming bitter and defensive, Hilaria became even more patient. Her children were reared tenderly, and she taught them to be loving and kind with each other, with her, and with their father.
Five of the eight went on missions and all were married in the temple. Come, kiss him, love him! All we can do is love him and forgive him. He is a good man, and he is head of this family. I also know how badly she wanted her husband to the Church.
He was a very good man, even though he did foolish things. He loved people. He helped others in need. We sometimes had a person, even whole families, live with us because my husband knew that they were out of work and needed someplace to go. I know that he loved me and the children and that he was proud of us.
The good example of our children brought him into the Church. It was the happiest day of my life when he was baptized. I was reared in a part-member family. Our bishop counseled my mother to put her love for my nonmember father above all else, and my brothers and I grew up watching her devote herself to that advice. The bishop further counseled her not to fret or feel guilty when she had to limit some of her Church activity when my father objected to the amount of time it took her away from home.
My parents were committed to our family. Our home was peaceful and nonjudgmental. My father, though he never ed the Church, nevertheless respected it and harbored no ill will toward it. He even proudly supported me financially on my mission to Venezuela and Colombia. There were difficult and painful times for us. Most poignantly, I recall when my parents sadly waited outside the Salt Lake Temple while I was married there. Still, they respected my decision and stood joyfully by my husband and me later during the reception with which they honored me. I have often felt sad that my father was not a member, and I have prayed all my life that he would someday.
On the positive side, however, I am grateful that Lds dating a non member mother never belittled him and showed me a wonderful example of tolerance and love.
For less active members and nonmembers, the leap from where they are to full Church activity often seems too great. But some are willing to take small steps. John, an enthusiastic member who ed the Church in his later years, nearly lost his wife to divorce because of his enthusiasm for the Church. The more he tried to convince her, the more stubbornly she resisted. Over the years that followed, John continued to faithfully attend his meetings alone, and his wife slowly softened toward the Church.
She was impressed with the Relief Society homemaking program in particular, and taught many minicourses on cooking and gardening. Still, she never ed the Church. In talking about his wife, John praises their marriage. He cautions others in a similar situation:. I believe that my love for my wife will last forever. Eternity is plenty of time for love, example, and patience to win out. In the meantime, let love and acceptance work its own special magic. The gospel should be a blessing to any marriage. The Apostle Paul holds up Jesus Christ as an example:. Paul also counseled Church members married to nonbelievers to be patient in their loyalty:.
Too many active Church members feel terrible guilt when their marriages are less than ideal, even though they feel they have faithfully done all they can. July Diary of a Convert Mollie H. Pioneers—Since Sharon Bradley.
Deseret Industries at Fifty Don L. Michael D. May the truth of the scriptures really be known by the power of the Holy Ghost? Newell B. Disciples at Gennesaret Lynette K. Homecoming Sarah M. Dial-a-History Steve Anderson. President Marion G. What caused such a marvelous change? Illustrated by David Hoeft.Lds dating a non member
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