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When you are the girl in a relationship, it can be hard to be patient. Once you find an amazing, godly guy, you may soon start daydreaming about exclusively dating, getting engaged, and getting married. Like—that day. It may be an easy jump for you and you may not have a lot of reservations. Maybe you want the guy you like to commit to dating immediately.
Or you would like your boyfriend to propose within a month or two of starting to date. But what if there are some good reasons to take a potential romantic relationship slowly and methodically for guys and girls? He wants to take the time to examine his own thinking and motives and make sure he is following the Lord and not running ahead.
He wants to go slowly and avoid putting a relationship with you before His devotion to Christ. Verses about self-examination. To do this, he needs to observe you over time in many different situations. He wants to watch how you interact with your family, his family, friends, coworkers, and strangers. Instructions for men about finding a godly wife Prov. Not only does he want to see a godly character in you, but he wants to have a chance to watch your love for Jesus. He wants to see evidence of the fruit of the Spirit. He will want to know your thoughts on divorce and on how a couple should handle making important decisions.
Verses about marriage. If so, he may quickly decide this relationship is not for him. Verses about character.
He wants to treat you with great respect and honor and he wants to be sure you will treat him with respect and honor, too. Verses about respect and honor. He watches to see if you dress modestly, if you speak well of yourself or if you put yourself down a lot.
He wants to see confidence in Christ in your life and a desire to please the Lord in all that you do. He wants to see that you are not consumed with lies from the enemy about yourself. Verses about modesty. Verses about self-respect. He knows that if you are to marry, God desires him to be a servant-leader who lays down his life for you and who shows love to you in the same selfless, sacrificial way that Jesus loved the church. He wants to know if you will have a generally optimistic, leadable spirit.
He wants to know if you treat your parents, your boss, government leaders, police officers, and your pastor with respect and honor. He wants to know if you are willing to yield to the leading of the Lord. Are you willing to follow the calling God places on his life as your own? Is God calling you both in the same direction? Verses about contentiousness. He wants to know that you can articulate your thoughts, concerns, ideas, and suggestions.
He wants to know that you understand the power of your influence and that you are determined to use it wisely in a constructive way. Verses about ability and responsibility. Verses about spiritual maturity. He wants to be sure you are not going to purposely hurt him or try to ensnare him. Verses about tempting others. It takes time to observe these things. Like often, many months or a year or more.
Take the time to notice red flags. Other things may be going on, as well, of course. He may have been hurt in the past. His parents may have had a difficult relationship and he may feel uncertain about his abilities to be a good boyfriend or husband. He may be dealing with difficult issues in his life. Or he may want you to have time to heal from pain in your life. He may want to finish his degree or get to a certain financial level before he feels he can provide properly for a wife and family. But there are a lot of potentially important reasons a godly guy may want to go slowly more slowly than you might like to go.
There are limits! But these days, wise men are cautious about the women they chose. They realize that a wrong choice can cost them in countless ways for decades to come. Wise women are very cautious today, too. There are not a lot of people who are devoted to living under the Lordship of Christ. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.
For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? This does not mean we are literally to hate our families or spouses. God commands us to love others. Marriage is important. Family is important. But our love for Jesus is to be so much greater than our love for even our dearest human loved ones, that, in comparison, our love for them looks like hatred. For more, check out this post by Got Questions. Our primary love has to be Jesus. Our primary devotion must always be to Him above everyone and everything else, otherwise we become idolators.
It is very common to make idols out of our menhappinessromancemarriageand many other things today. Check this out! And I am talking about men who also genuinely love Jesus and want to live wholeheartedly for Him. They are Christ-followers. How to Choose a Godly Guy. Red Flags.
Red Flags Part 2. Is Christianity Compatible with Sexual Immorality? Thank you so much for writing this. I was beginning to feel guilty for wanting to examine the dynamics of a woman before entering into marriage with her. Respecting her purity is a must and I really want God to show me how she would be a positive force in aiding me to serve Him. My intentions would are not to he an accuser of the brethren. So I began to How to get a christian guy to ask you out that she was right. This article was spot on. It is certainly possible to take things too far and be overly critical or judgmental in a sinful way.
Balance can be tricky and requires wisdom and discernment from the Lord. We have an 18 year old son in our home and a 13 year old daughter. We want both of them to be wise about getting to know a potential spouse and addressing red flags before making a commitment to engagement or marriage.
Preferably, even before committing to a dating relationship. This is a very important decision, you are right. No one is going to be a perfect spouse. We want to be sure we are on the same. Notify me of follow-up comments by. Notify me of new posts by. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Address. But maybe the great guy you are interested in wants to take things a bit more slowly.
It can be tempting to get frustrated and to try to force him to move faster. And what if a girl rushing or pressuring him only verifies that he was right to go more slowly? There are a lot of reasons why Christian guys may wait a long time to commit, but here are 10 of the biggest ones: 1. He wants to be sure his heart is in the right place.
Verses about self-examination 2. He wants to be sure he assesses your character accurately. He wants to watch your faith in action. Verses about marriage 5. He wants to see if he feels safe with you. Verses about character 6. He wants to see if you can have a mutually respectful relationship. Verses about respect and honor 7. He wants to see that you respect yourself.
Verses about modesty Verses about self-respect 8.
He wants to see if you have a cooperative spirit. Verses about contentiousness 9. He wants to see that you have your own mind and heart. Verses about ability and responsibility Verses about spiritual maturity Verses about tempting others ——— It takes time to observe these things. For more, check out this post by Got Questions Our primary love has to be Jesus. Much love, precious sisters! Share this: Click to share on Twitter Opens in new window Click to share on Facebook Opens in new window Click to this to a friend Opens in new window Click to print Opens in new window Click to share on Pinterest Opens in new window.
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10 Good Reasons A Christian Guy May Be Slow to Commit