Added: Melodie Sackett - Date: 12.09.2021 00:05 - Views: 46354 - Clicks: 4953
The purpose of this post is not to bring out the moral or judgemental police, nor is it about wanting to ignite a conversation that further dilutes something I personally think we can do a lot better at understanding and not judging. Regardless, both are not constructive. They are de structive. One was a literal one night stand and the other was a one night stand… that turned into a relationship… that lasted over a year. Looking back, both had a degree of shame associated with them. The shame sabotaged the relationship I had with myself, and in the case where it turned into a relationship, the other person.
Just like there are two different depictions of one night stands, there are two different reactions most people get when sharing their one night stand experiences. They do this by emotionally recoiling and being passively judgemental even though, more often than not, these people have done things that are much more ethically and morally questionable than having a one night stand. Whatever your beliefs are, if you are having one night stands or if you choose to have a one night stand in the future….
Everything is consensual and safe. No one is trying to wake up engaged the morning after. You are desperate for true love but are always in a limerent state. For some people, one night stands are a full-blown addiction. Because you feel so worthless and unloved, you become addicted to feeling wanted, special, and loved for a night. The best way to keep your dignity intact is to communicate through your words and actions that you have self-respect. Just be YOU. You are either with the wrong person or, you feel like you are wrong — either way, save yourself the shame, guiltand heartbreak.
Do not proceed. I wish I would have just been told that if you end up in a place where you are seeking this kind of connection, all you need to do is take a step back and ask yourself WHY you want it. If you are doing it for the wrong reasons, you should prioritize looking for more sustainable relationships such as true, mutual friendships with yourself first and foremost and spend some Blog one night stand alone.
Get to know yourself, figure out what it is you really want, and go for THAT. What defines us is the growth and evolution from lessons learned — not the shame from acting on insecurities that we ALL feel. Hello Natasha, I can say I had both type of one night stands. One where I actually went and did it knowing what I was doing, choosing to do so and so I felt in charge, not ashamed at all.
The other one turned out to be a fwb relationship without me even realizing it- I did not want a relationship but the sex was soooooo good. So that was definitely the one night stand that got worse, in my opinion it happened exactly because it did not stay a ONE night stand. Surprisingly, I fell in love and he was not there. One night stands are fine, if they stay one. I agree with you about when the shame sets in.
You saved me from myself 2 years ago and I will forever be a loyal reader riding my white horse.
I love you and this tribe. Are you doing any more speaking engagements anytime soon? It means everything to me. Thank you for your support and speaking to us in a way that seems so personalized! Please let us know about any speaking engagements on the east coast!!! So proud of you Karen — you got this. Oh Natasha! I have only had Blog one night stand few in my 43 years, and hold no judgement. Always so happy and honored to help. Thank you for always sharing your personal experiences, it lets us all know we are not alone and we all are human.
You hit the nail on the head with this post. I shared your post with them out of love and they are now addicted to the blog! I have to admit I did have a few but it was not intended to be a ons. I have been following PMS for the last year and a half. Being a guy, I never wanted to comment but I have seen some guys comment on other posts and decided to today. Thank you for writing this. I am a straight 31 year old man and have had one night stands before. I had one a few days ago and for the first time, have the worst emotional hangover. This post helped ground me. I look forward to your event in New York and following your career as it continues to grow.
You have helped me more than therapy ever did. Never question or doubt the impact you have Natasha. Even for us guys. Loved reading your words. PMS is definitely a place to heal, fill up our emotional tanks and as you wrote — ground ourselves.
Natasha, your insights and advice are a breath of fresh air and invaluable to young women. Beautifully written, as ever. Good luck on your dissertation and coursework! You get to the root of it all. Hahahah I was laughing too as I was writing it??? Thanks sister. Love you. This really covers all the bases Natasha. You affirm that there is nothing inherently wrong with a ONS, and I think approaching this topic without prejudging the situation is best. It occurred to me that ONS might even be considered an acid test for self-love. ONS are empty emotional calories, not nourishment.
It may be that a penchant for ONS arises from a preference for people who are emotionally unavailable; there is nothing wrong with connecting with such people provided that Blog one night stand is realistic about what they can deliver. There is unfortunately nothing I can do to give a chocolate chip cookie the nourishment that broccoli provides just as there is nothing one can do to make a ONS deliver the emotional nourishment of a deeper relationship with someone.
Your comments heal, connect, and help so many. They take my work to a deeper level of understanding and inclusion. I love you with all of my heart Brandon. Everyday, I am thankful for you being here and for the nourishment that because you gave yourself, you are able to provide for us all?? When are you going to write a post? You always write amazing comments. Your insight is sharp and thoughtful. And there are men out there reading these posts too. You should write a post. I know many would second this. I was feeling so ashamed for the ons I had this weekend that I thought of ending my life.
I know we have never met but I love you. Thank you for helping so many people in this world. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Post comment. I want to provide for you, everything that I wish was said to me about one night stands. I think one night stands are very confusing, unnecessarily judged, and extremely contradictory.
I used to think that a one night stand and dignity could never coexist. I was wrong. Carrot dangling. It can be a form of compulsive avoidance. Nor do I see a need for shame, guilt, or judgment — from yourself and others.
You will lose every time. Keeping Your Dignity Intact… The best way to keep your dignity intact is to communicate through your words and actions that you have self-respect. Do I regret having one night stands? Not at all. Related Posts. Thank you for being here and for being you.
All my love. Love you too!Blog one night stand
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